Implant 3 yrs ago --> suffered pain & disillusionment
             --> now coming out the other side, I hope!

Posted by Trish on January 03, 1999 at 10:37:07:

Hi all - I am Trish from RI and would love to get some feedback regarding my experience after taking the implant. I will give
only the highlights here in an effort to be brief. I started reading Kryon about 3 years ago, when my sister sent me the first 2
books as a "just because I love you" gift (she's wonderful like that). I made a decision to take the implant and here's what
happened: I became disillusioned with all "New Age" things, and took a giant step back from the light, it seemed; I stopped all
new learnings, readings, stopped any alternative healing; shortly after I was assaulted by my abusive husband and then filed for
divorce (very necessary). The divorce took about 1 1/2 years and during that time I was depressed, broke, lonely and struggled
desperately to care for my young son. It's now a year after the divorce and 3 years since taking the implant. I have recently
begun feeling that I cannot live this way anymore; I want happiness and joy ... I want to feel the light again. I want to make big
changes in my life and I feel like the time to do it has finally come - Thank Goodness! I will have to take baby steps, but I have
the desire, and now I need to find a guide along my path. If any of you loving people can either identify or offer guidance, I
would greatly appreciate it! I have much to give and it hurts not to be giving it . Love to all!


Posted by Kevin B. on January 03, 1999 at 11:06:20:

In Reply to: Implant 3 yrs ago --> suffered pain & disillusionment --> now coming out the other side, I hope! posted by Trish
on January 03, 1999 at 10:37:07:

Hi Trish,

It was back in 1995 that I first gave intent to receive the so-called implant. Like you I thought it would be like 90 days and then
I would arrive in Shangri La. It didn't work out that way for me. For about 4 years I went through major pain and struggle
which included depression, financial lack, co-dependent relationships, and lots of emotions of anger, sadness and so on. It was
a difficult time period and I too was disillusioned at everything. Add to that I was angry at everything.

All I can say is I stayed with it. I kept asking God, "What do you want me to do?" It seemed that I rarely got an answer. It also
seemed that the information was given to me in small little increments. At the height of my depression I had an inner urge to go
on an extended juice fast. I fasted for 60 days after which I had reached a very high vibration. I understood why many of the
great spiritual masters fasted for enlightenment, but I certainly reached that stage. During my fast I reached a higher level of
enlightenment which lasted for about a month after my fast. Then depression hit again. This time it was worse. Almost suicidal. I
kept giving intent to God. This time I had lost all trust in any New-Age writings or teachings. I went to Vermont for a weekend
where I met a lady who did Past-Life regressions. We did a past life to determine the source of my depression. To my shock
we discovered there was an Entity attached to my body. This entity was of the dark (if you will) and it was attached to my
throat chakra. What I discovered about entities who were not of the light, is that most of them repell love in any way. So
anytime I tried to create love in my live, via relationship, or doing something good it would always come back in my face. I
discovered with this entity one of the reasons for my major challenges over the years. I saw a therapist. We took an hour and a
half to release the entity. My life changed completely after that moment.

From there I went on to complete much of spiritual healing I had started before. I worked consistently with Inner Child work,
some past life regressions, but most importantly I listened to spirit to tell me the next step. What was amazing about this process
is that for the first time, I could feel myself communicating with spirit and I could actually hear spirit's response. It was a very
powerful experience.

So I give you this information to show you that you are not alone in your process. I personally do not have a clue to this day
what Kryon means by the 90-day process for the implant. For me it has taken a long time.

Also note that what I have said here is my own story, not yours. So when you read information in this post listen to what is
appropriate for you. Ask spirit, "What is my next step?" "What do I need to know?" Often times spirit will tell us we need to
work on healing our Inner Child or some other area but what happens is we become scared and we choose not to listen to what
spirit is telling us. Then we keep moving on in pain until we call out again and say, "God help me!!" God says, "Go inside, heal
your emotional pain. Heal your Inner Child." We may or may not get it again, but you see the pain keeps getting worse until we
do eventually decide to heal our hearts.

Anyway I went on a little bit of a tangent with that last little bit. All I can say to you Trish is choose to heal. Have faith that
spiritual healing does work. There are many of us who are doing the work. And Know Most Importantly that GOD LOVES

I hope this helps.




Posted by Becky on January 03, 1999 at 11:16:39:

In Reply to: Implant 3 yrs ago --> suffered pain & disillusionment --> now coming out the other side, I hope! posted by Trish
on January 03, 1999 at 10:37:07:

I understand your mother left my
father when I was seven in 1965 and it is very
much still an open issue with all three of us.
I have also recently experienced the 'craziness'
you are going through spiritually.

Know this: When you open up to Spirit and welcome the
accompanying changes, the first thing that happens
is the destruction of everything rooted in the
old energy pattern. So don't feel upset or
disturbed...just try to keep your balance as
each wave of renewal passes through you and know
that these uproars are just symptoms of the
spiritual 'housecleaning' that is going on.

The old must be undone so that the new will have
fresh soil in which to grow. I know it is a
little like being drunk (ask a glass of water how
that feels!), but there will be an end to it and
soon you will see why all of this has been

It helps a lot to keep a written journal and find
a soulmate to confer with on a regular basis.
This will help you make more sense of it all and
will assure you that you are not going crazy!

Be strong and have no fear! Remember: "God never closes a door
without opening a window!!"

Love and Light,



Posted by CJ on January 03, 1999 at 12:20:36:

In Reply to: Implant 3 yrs ago --> suffered pain & disillusionment --> now coming out the other side, I hope! posted by Trish
on January 03, 1999 at 10:37:07:

: Dearest Trish,

Welcome back to the family, we are glad you found your way back to us....
Your life sounds a little like mine and alot like a sense we ALL can relate....I think our paths are more alike than
different...we just "feel" as if we are alone...but the truth is we are NEVER alone.....
Sometimes though Trish we feel like we are new to our enlightenment...we are young, fragile and scared....we are
like little wee ones in our bed in a great big room and we "think" we are alone.....yet....what is the "reality" here....there is the
child in their bed....perhaps with the door closed or only slightly ajar.....feeling alone and scared...yet there on the other side of
the door are the child's parents....keeping a constent and loving vigle....there to keep Love....we are like
that child Trish...we "feel" we are alone yet there on the other side of the door on the other side of the veil....who is there? Our
Family...the Entourage Kryon speaks of ....they are there in ALL their glory to keep stand gaurd...ALL
we have to do Trish is remember they are there....HONESTLY they are there...we just "feel"'s dark ....yet all we have
to door is open the door a bit and the light from the room where Family sits and keeps watch will bath us with it's warmth and
comfort....this board is like that us warmth and comfort....So many Angels here amoung us.....ALL we have to do is
want it and be open to it....
I hope my words have helped some...tis a rough road to go sometimes...but ALWAYS are NEVER
alone....there on the other side of the door is Family there to comfort and send you Love.....

Keep your face towards the light Trish and your wings open and ALL will be all right.....

With Love,


Posted by Loretta on January 03, 1999 at 14:59:01:

In Reply to: Implant 3 yrs ago --> suffered pain & disillusionment --> now coming out the other side, I hope! posted by Trish
on January 03, 1999 at 10:37:07:

Dearest Trish:

Sounds like my story from a few months ago -- Drama, Drama, Drama....

ALL of us have experienced what you have -- not the exact details, but the upheaval in our lives...some more severe and some
less severe. It seems that when we ask for the implant, everything seemingly bad happens at once -- in one giant BLOB!

Ahhhhhh, but when it's over and there's a rebirth...a spiritual awakening. As CJ once told me awhile back (when I was toward
the end of the depression thingy): "Looks like this little girl ate a little tooooo much candy for Halloween!" We can ask Spirit to
slow down, if we like. I, however, chose to hurry up and get it over with. I wanted the seeming Hell to be over with.

Looks like you've seen the light at the end of the tunnel, and it's soooooo exciting! I'll share some advice others gave to me
back when...(not really that long ago)...

Pamper yourself, take bubble baths, spend $5 on yourself. Buy a nice new pair of socks, or blueberries or a coloring book and
crayons. Rent some funny, funny movies. We had a list going at one time -- of our favorite movies. Clean house. Clean out
closets. Listen to Gregorian chants or other music. Act like a little kid around your house. Pamper, pamper, pamper, and just

You're gonna get through this, Dear One!

We love you!

Love and Light,



Posted by Miry on January 03, 1999 at 15:04:22:

In Reply to: Implant 3 yrs ago --> suffered pain & disillusionment --> now coming out the other side, I hope! posted by Trish
on January 03, 1999 at 10:37:07:

Hello you all !

I have already posted something before, when Ribbons posted her deception about the
implant. And I read again someone who have to get through something so difficult.

I understand at the intellectual level, the clean up and everything. But, sometimes,
I am so disabused with everything in my life, and I don't know how to
cope with the feeling. I ask to die! Because, I don't want to feel
like that anymore. But I can't take my own life, I think about it, but I don't have the strength in me to
do that.
So, I say to myself that I have to live and do something with my life. I talk to my guide, my divine self...and God. Ask for
guidance, answers, what to do.
But it's not coming. I know, people will say that I have to open mylsef. I am not feeling like that all the time, but when it come,
it's so
difficult to get out of my mind.
I am not sure that I want to be here for all the changes that are coming. I am so tired sometime of this life. Like others on the
board, I wish that I can meet someone in the flesh
that can give me some healing, answers, guidance too.

Ho, sorry, I am just a bit depressed today...hope that tomorrow will be better.

Love and light,



Posted by Dawsalee on January 03, 1999 at 15:27:23:

In Reply to: Implant 3 yrs ago --> suffered pain & disillusionment --> now coming out the other side, I hope! posted by Trish
on January 03, 1999 at 10:37:07:

Hi Trish,

I'm glad you brought this up again on the board. It helps for us to remind ourselves when new people come to the board that
they may be as confused as we were about the implant process.

Of all the information and tools that Kryon has talked about the neutral implant is the one that seems to be most painful and
most confusing. Everyone experiences it differently - at least to the degree in which their lives fall apart.

For me, I was one of those who expected the magic pill. I would take the neutral implant, suffer through the 90 days of
realignment with my new purpose and then awaken new and renewed.

Didn't work that way for me either. And it took longer for me to actually get the implant. I asked in 1995 and didn't actually fall
apart until mid-1996. Don't know if it is because I'm so stubborn I couldn't move into graduate status or so strong.

Here's what I've learned in the past two years.

The neutral implant is a tool that tells the universe we are ready to awaken and begin to align our vibration on both sides of the
veil - Kryon calls it graduate status.

Releasing Karma means that everything we've managed to avoid dealing with or resolving now arrives in our life. An unexpected
package - like Pandora's box - that lets out all the issues we've been stuffing in it for lifetimes.

Graduate status means, IMO, that we're telling the universe we're willing to take on the task of being human - this time with our
eyes wide open. And, if you are like me, you've got plenty of lifetimes where you didn't quite get the lessons you planned for

I spent the last half of 1996 totally lost, severely depressed and suicidal. In fact, I had begun shutting down all my body
functions and it has taken the past two years to mostly repair the damage. I too was in dire financial straits, even though I had a
job, relationships fell apart - nothing worked!

I worked and worked and worked on myself. From my now perspective, I had a lot of cleaning to do before I could look even
out the window. And I found out that in order to survive I had to give up judgement of myself. Before I could move forward, I
had to lose the willingness to beat up on myself, to judge myself and to compare myself to anyone else.

And along with that I had to rework my view of life from a series of tests along the way to a goal and come to be believe that
the experiences or lessons were the whole point of life.

When we ask for the neutral implant it takes off the path of the known and drops us smack into the edge of chaos - mentally,
emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Even when we begin to get the emotional and spiritual back in line, the mental and physical lag a bit behind. Remember, you are
re-making not only your thoughts but your very physical presence down to the subsellular level. And each strand of DNA that
gets activated brings, seemingly, its own host of issues and changes.

Be kind to yourself Trish - treat yourself the same way you would treat someone you love who is recuperating from a
life-threatening illness. For that is what you are going through - recuperating from sleeping through a lifetime.

And ask and share your experiences. Sometimes we feel like we are the only ones who are having problems with the process -
if we can even figure out what the process is!

Most of us on the board have had our lives fall apart so that we could put them together in a more loving, synchronistic way.
And we are the examples of the reality of being able to reach new states.

Well come Trish and bright blessings
- Dawsalee


Posted by Robyne on January 03, 1999 at 17:29:57:

In Reply to: Implant 3 yrs ago --> suffered pain & disillusionment --> now coming out the other side, I hope! posted by Trish
on January 03, 1999 at 10:37:07:

dear sister Trish, thank you for opening the door for so many of us with your questions. I have to laugh, because my friends tell
me I am too literal when it comes to the Kryon teachings. I feel Kryon welcomes, our challenging his teachings and holding him
accountable. We are not just puppets on this beautiful planet earth. In his first book, THE END TIMES, he says, everyone who
asks shall receive the implant in time. He also says, there will be some of you who have had few life expressions (experiances)
and you will require a different shift a different way to be dealt with. (I didn't look in the book, but that is close to what he says.)
I beleive, because of those who have answered you so far, are our sisters and brothers who asked for the implant all around the
same time -1995- we must be connected. Of the same family and are here to help eachother. I am not ready at this time to
share my experiance around the implant. I came to the point that I realized wheather I received the promises, that Kryon said
we would receive, I had to go within and make my life better, no matter what. Spirit was not there, Kryon was not there, for me
to reach on any level. Physical death was the only answer and I knew that wasn't a choice. As everybody else has told you, I
had to find a way to love myself.

Kryon states while you are in the waiting process do what you most love to do in your life. We all have a time frame, a window
of opportunity, the implant will not be in place until it is our time. So all the efforting and struggling seems to be in vein. I had to
find how to feed my spirit with the things I most loved. Now I know, when I intend for anything in my life as co-creator with
spirit, I must trust and let go knowing spirit is only here to support me, wanting only good for me.

Much love to you, my sister
your sister,


Posted by Mary on January 03, 1999 at 18:47:32:

In Reply to: Implant 3 yrs ago --> suffered pain & disillusionment --> now coming out the other side, I hope! posted by Trish
on January 03, 1999 at 10:37:07:

My version of taking the implant happened before I even knew about Kryon. I was having fun exploring the Ramtha energy and
another channelled energy called Bashar. I was doing the Ramtha breath work and I remember the day I felt so full of myself
that I asked that all my closets be opened. HELLO! I was ready and waiting. Needless to say I've wanted to changethat
command many times. My biggest issue had and still is the thing called timing. But the best part has been my continuous choice
every day to come from love. I have never once been alone with this and my dark night of the soul lasted 8 years.

I am only on this board a few weeks. I have been "on board" this whole lifetime. Can't thik of a better place to be NO
MATTER WHAT. I'm here for the party.

Love & Lght,


Posted by Michael on January 04, 1999 at 01:52:53:

In Reply to: Implant 3 yrs ago --> suffered pain & disillusionment --> now coming out the other side, I hope! posted by Trish
on January 03, 1999 at 10:37:07:

Hi Trish:
I too recently wrote about my intensely difficult few years where everything of meaning to me fell to pieces. It was overwhelming
and very difficult. But the thing I found most helpful was - whenever my mind and emotions turned to some cyclical, drama-filled
thoughts or feelings, I would try to catch myself in the act of this moment, and then say to myself: "I CO-CREATE PEACE". I'd
say this several times, until I could feel all the drama energies slow down and out of their circular (obsessive) patterns. Then I'd
try to remember what my goal was - what did I want to achieve? Peace? Abundance? Love? I'd then focus on that goal, and
try to enjoy the pleasure of being in that moment. I'd let go of trying to figure out how I'd get there, because I trusted that my
guides and higher self were organizing this and manifesting this creation for me. I didn't need to figure anything out. All I needed
in this moment was PEACE, and to keep myself focussed on my goal.

It's a technique I use daily. I find that I can get caught up in these loops of energy, obsessive mental and emotional circuits which
keep me from trusting in the goodness of the universe, and stop me from enjoying life. I believe that these looping patterns are
old karmic energies looking for a release, for a healing. And remarkably co-creating peace really works. Sometimes the
problem dissipates immediately - there never was one in the first place!

The best thing is, after a few months of doing this, I began to experience the manifestation of the co-creations I had been stating
my intent for. This made me feel remarkably POWERFUL, and full of gratitude. It has filled me with an amazing hope and I
realize that all my highest dreams can be realized.

I wish you peace, and your abundance will follow.

Love, Michael


Posted by Trish on January 03, 1999 at 18:26:56:

In Reply to: Implant 3 yrs ago --> suffered pain & disillusionment --> now coming out the other side, I hope! posted by Trish
on January 03, 1999 at 10:37:07:

My thanks to all of you who responded; you have shown me what love and faith can do for a person. Somehow through the last
3 years or so, I have known deep down inside that this time would come. I am a very strong person and I have deep faith, but
what I have been through was quite necessary for my spiritual growth, I can see that now. I was told over 4 years ago that I
would go through a very harsh time, but that it would help me in being able to guide others through their own spiritual deserts.
And what I want most in this life is to love others and be the power of example that just one person might need need in order to
find their own way to the light.
I feel blessed tonite for the first time in a very, very long time. But I know that it really ISN'T the first time in a long time ... I
have been cared for all along the way ... I just couldn't feel it. And, Miry, I believe the same may be true for you. If you cannot
believe at this time, then please know that WE believe, and that your epiphany is coming. Please take care and know that love is
Love to all - Trish