Once upon a time, no one seemed to know what scientists were doing. They labored in their labs, in their cute little white coats,
and it all seemed so mysterious, this high priesthood (no girls allowed). Then one day came the Queen on her Roan Steed - no
wait, that's another story.

Let's start large. The "Breakthrough of the Year," as given in a December '98 issue of Science, was the finding that the universe
is not expanding at a constant rate of speed, but accelerating. This means that Einstein was right, once again. He postulated the
presence of "lambda," which is a mysterious force that pushes matter apart and keeps gravity from collapsing all matter into
itself. [Lambda is also known as the international symbol for the gay/lesbian/bisexual movement - there are no coincidences!]
Never mind that he later rejected out of hand that lambda existed. Present cosmologists have shown it exists, and have pretty
darn good proof that over 70% (some say up to 90%) of all known energy in the universe is lambda stuff, and only 30% (some
say only 10%) is actual matter. This means that the Big Bang, the theory that the universe started with a masculine orgasmic
explosion and will eventually collapse back into itself, is highly suspect. Of all our presently cherished scientific myths of creation
(and the most anthropomorphic), this one seems destined to bite the dust. In related news, an earlier '98 issue of Science
reported a "Cosmic Web" perceived as an ordered fabric with highways of darkness connecting globs of matter. Once again,
some mysterious force or energy was found to make up these dark highways and to "bend" huge conglomerations of matter
(even black holes!) to its shape.

Then, getting to the really small, Science reported that neutrinos have mass. These particles, known to be part of gamma ray
emissions, can pass through matter at will, and were therefore thought to be massless. Since they now are known to have mass,
neutrinos are an example of how pure energy can indeed be pure matter, and is everywhere at once! On top of it, Science once
again proved Einstein right, even though he later rejected this one, too. The "twins" phenomenon (better known as the
Einstein-Podolsky-Rosen (EPR) effect) states that if we split an atom into part A and part B, no matter how far apart they are,
whatever happens to A also happens to B, and vice versa. This was shown not only to be true, but was used to produce
teleportation at the quantum level within a laboratory setting this year. Hello, Captain Kirk!

So, to recap the largest and smallest of it:

1) we are part of an ever accelerating universe with absolutely no end (and no discernable beginning);
2) our universe has a perceivable shape ("web") which bends matter to it;
3) the overwhelming majority of the universe's energy can pass right through matter at will and is found everywhere and in
everything (indeed, energy is mass and mass is energy);
4) this energy can communicate instantaneously with other energy anywhere in the universe; and
5) we are already starting to harness this energy.

Coming soon to a home, utility company, and transportation center near you. Welcome to the universe, Earth! Hee hee!

Kathy